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The current period signifies a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the decade since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal quirks indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your choice to pursue a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {